PREPARE to CLOSE MY EYES

I haven’t felt too great in the last couple days – sinuses, headache, sore throat, ear ache… in fact, felt lousy enough to go to the doctor!  So, yesterday I was feeling worse and that is with medicine.  ):  Of course it is probably because the medicine is loosening everything that needs to get out of my head and chest.  But yesterday  I was feeling lightheaded / dizzy (hold back the comments on the “dizzy” – lol).  I absolutely HATE this feeling!! The only option is to sit back (laying makes dizziness worse) and close my eyes so I don’t see the spinning and feel sick to my stomach.  I have had much worse episodes, but still not fun.

PREPARE to CLOSE MY EYES… isn’t this a solution and calming effect to many things in life.

About the only time I close my eyes intentionally is at bedtime.  But I close my eyes and my mind kicks into overdrive.  I think of the “to do” list that I didn’t write, the worries of the day, the prayer concerns, etc.  I use to keep a tablet at the bedside so I could write down everything – especially my “to do” list because sometimes I wouldn’t sleep thinking I would forget the item by morning.   Now, I have my phone with the little “note” app that I can type everything into.  BUT – there have been times that my phone has required a factory reset and I lost my lists… ugh… but in hindsight no one died over those things not getting done and I likely don’t even remember what they were.  The other problem with the phone is then I am tempted to check my emails, my Facebook, play a quick mindless game.   I also realized that I am not good for “prayer concerns” at night.  First of all, I have a tendency to dream about the last thoughts in my head – so when I take heavy prayer concerns to bed with me, I often have a restless sleep and often have bad dreams.  The other problem is that sometimes I am SO TIRED that I fall asleep with prayer (I can hear the gasps – but God understands).   So much for CLOSE MY EYES…
Finally, I am learning I have to clear my mind to PREPARE to CLOSE MY EYES!  This week I realized before I even go upstairs to bed, I need to do the following   1. do my to do list for the next day and really trying to do better with going ahead and acting on the things I can – example, Friday is Library Day so on Thursday night I try to make sure the books are in the bag so I am NOT stressing Friday morning or going to bed, realizing it needs done and getting back up..  If I have the occasional thought of something it is the rarity and not the norm   2. I say my prayers in the living room.  By the time I go to bed, everyone else in our home is sound asleep.  I turn off the TV, spend time in prayer for those of concern, protection over my loved ones, and end in PRAISE.  It changes my mindset for bed.  I end it with positive thoughts instead of a heavy heart.  The issue is I have to remember I gave the requests to God, let them at HIS feet because He is the one who can care for the requests, and not keep them stored in my mind.  3. Enter the bedroom and turn off the TV immediately.  Jim often falls asleep watching a western.  I use to think I could fall asleep with the TV on, but not with my personality… I have to finish watching the show, or I check the DVR and see how full it is and feel like I have to watch my shows recorded, etc..  Then I fill my mind with everything I saw, and delay closing my eyes.  So, now instead of leading myself into temptation… I turn it off immediately.  I am definitely one who has to PREPARE to CLOSE my EYES.

There are days that are overwhelming – I look at my home, the dishes in the sink, my jobs email and want to scream and/or cry.  Yesterday was one of those days – mostly because of feeling so lousy and dizzy and knowing I couldn’t undertake any of them.  Those are the days when I need to close my eyes and just breathe, refocus, dig deeper for a different perspective, and pray harder for a deeper strength.  So many times I keep my eyes open, keep focusing on the negatives that surround me, and keep stewing over the issues.  When in reality, I need to just CLOSE MY EYES to truly refocus.  When my eyes are open I can only see what is OUTSIDE of me… when I close my eyes it gives me a chance to pause and to dig for what is INSIDE of me — inner strength and inner peace!

 John 14:27 – “I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.