So many thoughts today… I think the lesson I learned most yesterday was PREPARE to OBSERVE! Sometimes when you are the outsider looking in you get a different perception. I hate when people get “morphed” into someone else. It is like in Star Trek when they get transported to a different galaxy.
Have you ever been in a situation where you notice that people become “someone else” when they are around other people? The leader becomes a follower… the level headed person gets sucked into the drama… the self-confident person becomes the self-doubter… the in-control person becomes out of control… the brave person becomes the scared person… But it is bound to happen – to everyone – at one point in your life. When you work in environment, often you take on the “role” of the employee… When you go to church, you take on the “role” of the believer… When you go out with your friends, the “role” you take on depends on who your friends are… (Sad but true)! At Mary’s party last night, some observations… keep in mind I have only had one other “friend” party for Mary when she was young with 5 of her dance friends at a Pottery Shop (the best)… Anyway * friends I thought would come did not * some friends I thought would be invited are no longer “friends” and not invited * too much drama in the lives of young people – it is “drowning” them * some people will assume the role of the victim to steel the attention of the party * leaders can easier become followers because they don’t have the energy and/or knowledge to maintain leadership * true friends let the party be about YOU * sleepovers after a party are never a good idea * party etiquette needs reviewed before a party to the host/hostess of the party * party etiquette needs reviewed by the parents sending children to a party…
MOST IMPORTANT – EVERY PARENT needs to host a party with about 15 kids to 1. Know who are your child’s “friends” 2. Realize what really is going on in their child’s life 3. Discover how your child interacts with other people (do they “morph” into someone else 4. Experience the drama and attitudes of those your child interacts with (it can explain a lot) 5. Open your eyes to how technology has changed their childhood (especially cell phones/texting) and 6. Foster the friendships that you want to see established in your child’s lives (invite the good influences over to your home more and the bad influences less; put them in situations / activities with the good influences more, etc…)
But I think this is true for WORK ENVIRONMENTS too – Every SPOUSE needs to experience the place their spouse works 1. Know who the co-workers are 2. Realize what goes on in the office 4. Discover how your spouse interacts with co-workers 4. Experience the drama especially in small work areas (even though I work in a large hospital – my immediate work department always has drama). 5. Foster the friendships at work that you want to see your spouse engaging in (when possible). I definitely know more people at Jim’s office, due to holiday parties and outings, than he does mine. We went on one last year to a concert and my observations definitely made me reconsider who I would foster friendships with and those I would not. OBSERVATION- people are different when taken out of the environment you usually know them in!!!
The bottom line is PREPARE to OBSERVE. Mary comes home from school and talks about people, the stories / drama of the day, etc. and I always listened and made small comments – NOW I will HEAR what she is saying, put a face to the story, and will definitely be fostering different friendships. Now, if I could just get Jim and Samuel to be talkers about their environments (work and school). When you are in an environment, it is easy to become “part of that environment”. Easier to BE-come than OVER-come the environment – no matter if you are a teen or an adult!!!
Now, what do I do with what you observed – I have to think about, pray about, (probably write about) and then will know when the right time to handle will be. But what I wouldn’t give to * Have an instruction booklet, * Choose friends that are the best “fit”, * Let go and let some lessons be learned the hard way (as long as no one gets hurt) * Help the ones I love OVER-come and not be-come, and * NEVER stop being PREPARED to OBSERVE.
“You can see a lot just by observing” – Yogi Barra