Well, it all started on Friday… My meals (breakfast and lunch) I had packaged sugar cookies dipped in chocolate. Then for supper I had cupcakes, cake pops, chocolate covered strawberries at Mary’s party (and let’s not forget the pop). On Saturday, it continued… we went to the movies so we had movie theatre popcorn with salt and butter and more soda and on work on night shift I had Chinese… All of this and a lack of sleep, equals decreased energy, headaches, stomach aches, and craving more of the crappy stuff — I feel like I need a detoxification from the sugar. I was doing so well eating, loosing weight, getting up early, walking, cleaning the house, and feeling energetic… Now I feel like a slug, brought down, and drained…
The other area I have really learned about this weekend is PEOPLE – TOXIC PEOPLE! Some even disguise themselves as friends. At Mary’s party, I observed (see previous blog) and was amazed: the “friends” that * lie * are jealous * bring you down to build themselves up * do anything to steal the attention * gossip * talk behind your back * snitch on you to other friends (and even one to the parents – i.e. me) to try to cause problems, etc… This isn’t just a problem with teenagers – it exists in my life too. There are people who their presence brings me down – often it is their bad attitude about everything, the whiners, the complainers, the criticizers, the comparers, etc.. I can’t leave out the ones who intentionally lie or those that are always right and better than me! I bet if you are reading this, you can put names on all those descriptions too!
Another area that I have really struggled with is television. I find that I examine the meanings behind shows and movies now. For instance, I love a good chick flick and one I like is “Bridges of Madison County” but then I watched it again recently with a new perspective. It is a movie that is about a woman who cheats on her husband when he goes out of town. And I use to be upset at the end that she didn’t go with the guy she was cheating with. Well, Mary asked me about it… what kind of message does that movie say? And I had a dear friend go through the harmful affects of an affair and realize the movie isn’t so innocent. Then there is Reality TV – I use to love the Bachelor when it first started and now I have to say.. what kind of message does that send to Mary (and eventually Sam)? There isn’t much left once you start examining television through a different view… It is important for me to set the example. I have always told Mary that she can watch pretty much anything – even Law & Order that covers some very graphic topics – but the condition is that I watch it with her AND we talk about whatever we see. IF she doesn’t hear it in the safety of the home and know it is open for discussion — the TOXIC world will interpret for her (and eventually Sam).
TOXICITY – whether food or people or TV – can have lasting effects * physical (headache, drain you of energy) * emotionally (make you depressed, sad, angry) and * mentally (make it harder to concentrate, clog your brain with negative thinking, question your self-esteem and self-worth).
The best thing to do is PREPARE for TOXICITY –
- if at all possible is to AVOID IT! For food and TV – that’s possible (well unless of course it is chocolate – lol) . But with people I am not always so fortunate. Some of the most toxic are in the workplace and for my kids it is in the school. So then what…
- practice MODERATION.. This works for food especially. Enjoy your favorites, just not for 3 continuous days (: And I have to remember that even Christ spent time with non-Christians. The important thing is that He didn’t let them bring Him down; instead, tried to be the influence on their lives. That’s how I have to look at some of Mary’s “friends” as she may be the only positive influence they have. However, as a parent, I have to monitor the toxicity levels.
- Find REPLACEMENTS.. Replace eating junk with healthy foods. Replace toxic TV with shows you can watch as a family or an activity or a book… Replace toxic people with friends / relationships who build you up and as a parent encourage “healthy” relationships. And as always…
- Evaluate the effects of the toxicity and learn from it. As a parent it is important to have the conversation when the time is right (i.e. not the night of the party). Help your child evaluate the situation through your eyes – so they can see the “DANGER” signs. I am learning it is more important to teach than to preach.
You do not have the right to quit trying. (The universe wobbles when you do.) You have the right to quit Toxic People. (They’re contagious.) ~ Dr. SunWolf ~