prepare to OPEN MY HANDS

I referred to this in one of my recent blogs and even made a note to write a blog about it…  I talked about how when I purchased our big envoy it was to haul Mary and friends to/from activities, dance, etc… how it would be to haul Samuel and his friends to/from activities, sports, etc…  I don’t believe it was so much a dream I had for them as an assumption. 

Mary had always loved dance and was beautiful on stage.  I assumed that would last until she graduated, but that changed come middle school.  She needed a break from dance.  I will admit, it was hard not seeing her on stage and I missed the interaction with other moms.  She also dabbled in some cross country but the passion died quickly.  I then thought other sports would come, but most were eliminated from the Junior High setting.  She had several “friends” at school, but no real events to attend.  She realized early that most were friends at school, but not deep enough to have over.  So, my vision of our daughter’s life slowly changed.

When you have a son, I also think assumptions come in… I assumed that sports, friends, and boy scouts would exist in his life.  Also riding bikes and four-wheelers, etc…  But that is not Samuel’s life… He is unable to ride a bike due to coordination issues (which we work on).  I believe that he would be able to do sports if we did not live in a high-competition world where winning is often more important than introducing the love of a sport.  Also, the coach and players would have to be super patient and understanding, and free of bullies.  When he would emotionally/physically be ready to play, he would have to be on an older team due to his age and that would not work.  As far as friends, he plays much better with children younger than him, who still believe that imagination play is fun.  So my vision of our son’s life slowly changed…

It isn’t always easy letting go of visions/dreams for our children.  There are times that I would still love to see Mary dancing on stage.  I also would have loved to watch her have a chance in school at volleyball, etc.. because she may have fell in love with it.  I will also admit, there are times that I wish Samuel would be playing sports with the rest of his age.  It isn’t until Samuel is around other kids his age that I realize the differences.  But, I realized early on that my vision wasn’t necessarily going to fit their lives.  I have watched kids at dance be there because that is what their moms that they should be doing.  I have watched kids forced into sports because that is what their dads felt they should be doing.  As a parent, I am realizing that MY JOB is to take our children’s vision/dream for their life and turn it into an amazing opportunity when possible!  For instance, Mary has a dream/vision about music in her life, so we were able to give her an opportunity to explore that dream.  She now realizes that it is still a dream, but may fit a little better later in life and she needs more experience and training to make it come true.  For Samuel, it may be hard to help him become a monster hunter and a critter catcher (like the Turtleman on Animal Planet) – LOL!!! However, Samuel can really swim!  It is my job as a parent to take that love and give him opportunity to live it to the fullest.   It is important to us that they live their visions/dreams, even if it means letting go of our vision/dreams for them…

There have been many visions of my own life that I have had to let go.  Some are little and some are big.  But, what I have learned over time is that sometimes I hold so tight to a vision, a dream, a goal that I don’t leave my heart, my soul, my mind open for something even BIGGER AND BETTER that God has in His plans for me.   I limit my eyesight to what I WANT, MY PLANS, MY GOALS and do not consult the ultimate planner.  This can be so dangerous when I hold onto * the past that holds me back from the present and future * dreams that were not meant for my life *plans that were not meant for my family *goals that were not meant for our children.

 Mary and I love to watch wedding shows.  It is amazing when people hand over their wedding plans to a planner and the vision they had for the day.  The Wedding Planner takes that vision often to the next level!  The couple are amazed that it exceeded their expectations and more beautiful than they could ever imagine.  Very much the same for my life… if I hand my visions to Christ, my LIFE PLANNER (Jeremiah 29:11), I am sure that they will also exceed my expectations and be even more beautiful and perfect than I could ever imagine.  But instead, I hold my dreams in clenched fists, afraid to * let go * loose control * accept the loss * trust the planner.  As a result, I am not sure, I am living the life He has for me because of my small vision.  From His viewpoint He sees everything (birds eye view) and He knows everything from the thoughts of my heart, to my past, to my present, to my future!  So who am I who can only look back at the past with my one vision and the current moment and think MY PLANS can be greater than His!  Instead of opening my hands to hand Him my life, my plans, my dreams, my vision and giving them to Him to take and make into something bigger and beautiful than I can ever imagine, I stand closed fisted afraid to let go… afraid to let go… afraid to let go… 

Isn’t amazing that:

  • My young children trust their parents with their dreams and tell us about them and we want to take them and make them happen, BUT
  • As a grown-up and a Christian I don’t trust my heavenly Father with my dreams and tell them to him and let Him take them to make them happen (and be even more beautiful than I can imagine).

 My prayer… Dear Heavenly Father, this is your child, your daughter, coming to you opening my clench fists to give you all my plans, broken dreams, and unfulfilled visions.  I lay them down for you to take… may MY plans be blessed or discarded based upon YOUR PLANS…  Just as my children come to me with their dreams, I come to you with child-like faith and open hands….

Mark 10:14-16 (ESV): “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.

Jeremiah 29;11  “…For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future…”
*** of note, as I wrote this tears were streaming down my face… Sometimes I have no idea where my blog is going to go – and this has been one of them.  I really started this as letting go of dreams that I had for our children…  May you too have a child-like faith and open your fists to let God have your dreams and plans to make into something even MORE beautiful than you could ever imagine!!!


2 thoughts on “prepare to OPEN MY HANDS

  1. Kristin August 31, 2012 at 6:17 pm Reply

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