prepare to end my HYPOCRISY

I hear talk about not going to church because it is full of hypocrites.  Well, if you go to church with me, you are right – I am a hypocrite.   By definition, a hypocrite is “person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings”.  Yes, that describes me. I continually say one thing but my actions show so much more…

I SAY… BUT MY ACTIONS ARE…
I want to be closer to Christ  my commitment to reading and studying His word is limited.  When you love someone, you want to do things for them, you want to learn more about them, you want to get closer, you make time…
I love my children I don’t take care of myself – physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I don’t consistently participate in activities they love.  I make excuses. I do not promote a routine that may benefit them.
I love my husband  I do not take care of myself, our home, or attempt to make sure he hears it and feels it in our life together everyday.  I do not always lift him up with kind words in public or at home.
I am a Christian  not all the words that come from my mouth or felt in my heart and mind would show that (home, work, public, private). I don’t give as I should. I don’t serve as I should.
I love to read  I don’t make time to read the books I love that feed my spirit, my mind…
I want to do 5 Ks or more (especially Autism awareness events) I do nothing to prepare for it. I am envious when I see things posted on facebook of people doing races…
I want to be healthier  I do not commit to a lifestyle of healthy eating, exercise, and a good sleep schedule. I do not even do the one exercise I enjoy – Zumba (even though I bought the DVDs).  I need to step up my diabetes control.
I want financial peace of mind I do not always spend wisely, give wisely, balance wisely, and plan wisely.
I value education Do not participate in ongoing education that I could/should.  Could improve on educational savings for kids. Could utilize the hospitals education reimbursement and go back for my masters.
I trust Christ.. I have faith… I always have plan A, plan B, plan C and often/rarely hand over problems to Him, because I just can’t let go.  At times, I get really down and discouraged when I know He always helps me through everything.  Instead of going to the Master, I go to friends for advice, facebook for advice, and sometimes just to complain and worry.
I want to be a great friend (not just a good one) I do not always reach out to people that need to be reached to.  I sometimes get busy and do not devote the times my friends may need. 

In the past year on my blog journey I have made significant changes in my life.  However, in my heart, I know that I can do more, should do more, and want to do more.  I have read some amazing books this year that have changed my thinking and therefore my life.  I know some will post how great they think I already am – and though I love people for believing in me as a person- I know in my heart that God has more in store for me and I often/consistently do not steer my “free will” towards His will and my words/beliefs!  I must PREPARE to end my hypocrisy and ensure my actions match my words! Admitting is the first step…

“If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.” – 1 John 4:20 ESV

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