Wow what a crazy busy week. I worked 3 extra days to cover for someone whose mother passed away, resumed all the normal weekday appointments for Mary and Samuel (piano/voice, Occupational therapy, MD appointments), started a Woman’s Bible Study, attended an extra lecture at work, voted in the election, worked my normal WVUH shifts work, cyber school, a fieldtrip, and the week is NOT over yet. Tomorrow we meet a new speech therapist and have an extensive evaluation and I work. It makes me tired when I think about it. Then to consider some of the in depth conversation Mary and I have had in the car in our travels – emotional drain and mental drain as they make me think differently. And I hate to mention it, but the election is very draining as well – no matter which side you are on.
The ultimate drain was this morning.. when I believe the cumulative effect of being drained took place… I had to call our old insurance company over a bill from almost a year ago on November 22nd when Samuel underwent his Autism Diagnosis process and November 29th when I met with the incredible team to hear what we already knew, but didn’t really want to hear. Long story short, I learned of the bill not being paid in August of this year and have been battling ever since. I did our part to get prior authorization; they did not do their part in paying the bill. Anyway, the customer service representative definitely took compassion when I am sure she could hear my tears. It was all about the principal that they were wrong. I didn’t loose control and scream, but I definitely my emotions took control. Definitely, an Unglued moment for me.
One thing that has ran through my mind all week has truly been our discussion at Bible Study. I have wanted a Woman’s Bible Study for a long time, truly selfish reasons to * surround myself with women who will lift me up, and not tear me down; * learn more about Christ’s word in relation to MY everyday life; *be fed, because the world cannot fill that void. Also, for non-selfish reasons I have read some incredible books this year and they touched me – I mean really touched me and that I want to * share what I read and lift other women up * surround myself with women that I CAN support and pray for, and *learn from their experiences. There is alot of experience out there and as a church / nation / society / community, I believe that I have become so bogged down in just getting it done / getting by every day that I do not tap into the wisdom of others. Well, it exceeded my expectations and we have only met once. Even as I lead the Bible Study, hearing other women’s thoughts, just built upon mine.
The other experience I had this week on Tuesday was a lecture at work. It was “strongly encouraged” that we attend, and now I know why. First of all, the speaker Rich Biulini had my undivided attention when he mentioned his son had Asperger’s. As he continued to speak about being drained, I knew I was meant to be there. He talked about renewing ourselves, lifting others up, reminding ourselves of why we are where we are, telling others thank you, pray, etc… God knew I was drained and just adding to my cup.
DISCOVERY – there are so many things in this world that I have NO control over. But, I can choose my reaction to the situation. I can either * hate my enemy or love / pray for them; *become UNGLUED or figure out how to hold it together * be part of the problem or part of the solution * can lead or wait for someone else to. * smile or cry. * tear down or lift up * lean on myself or accept the help of others * be stubborn or open minded * be helpful or hurtful * be loud or silent * be me or pretend to be someone I am not * be honest or disloyal * trust in God or in this world * waste my time or spend it wisely * believe in miracles or in fate / coincidence only *
But the biggest lesson I have learned this week, if I am empty or drained, that the answer will not be found in food (maybe some sleep – LOL), * on television * on facebook * with work.
I need to be more prepared to DISCOVER. This week I discovered
- I must fill my mind / time / heart / soul with up-lifiting thoughts (the Bible, Christian Blogs – -I found Google Reader where I can put all my links to my favorite Christian Blogs that feed my soul) – if I go to the wrong place / thing / food when I am hungry / drained / empty, I will never be “filled” (and avoid my crazy email and facebook). \
- If God leads me to do something, I must trust He knows what He is doing.
- If I am drained / empty / confused / lonely – God can send people and words into my life to fill me.
- Every month needs to be November (except for elections – lol) because it is finally when there are mostly positive posts on facebook (=.
- Surrounding yourself with other women who are all there for the same purpose will lift you up – just by being in their presence and knowing you are not alone in feeling drained, alone, and empty.
- Many other women out there needing to be fed, uplifted if the opportunity is there for them.
- I need to look at life from my children’s eyes more than I do (thanks to the conversations this week that happened when I was already drained), and
- A lesson from my Grandma Frazee (whose 99th birthday would have been Nov 2nd) “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (but, I have to ask him for strength and accept His offering of strength – otherwise, I would not have survived this crazy week).