prepare MY HEART

What the heck… I am sitting still for a cup of tea (rare morning start lately) and thought I would watch some TV (rare in our house with Sam) and read some of my blogs I follow.  I have cried over just about everything…

I cry thinking of a boy and his family as he is in PICU having seizures and just needs the angels to encamp around him and Christ to just touch Him.  I cry because it is one of those situations that I just don’t understand.  How and why children have to suffer.  I will be honest I just don’t understand.  But, one thing I know I have to learn is that though I don’t understand.  I must appreciate and savor the moments with my children and never take them for granted – which I often do.  Sure, Sam has Aspergers and with it comes some difficulties and heart break, but it does not threaten his life and in many ways, it enriches ours.  Sure Mary has some emotional times as a teen and we actively rebuild years of cruel words, but it does not threaten her life and in many ways it helps us grow stronger together.  On this Thanksgiving Eve, I pray for that young man and his family (and all the other similar stories). I pray that I remember to savor every moment with our children…

I cry over the TV shows as they have give-aways to families who so deserve it.  Homes that were destroyed in Hurricanes, cars that do not allow them to get to/from work, unemployment, etc.  Again, situations I do not understand, because I am blessed.  Blessed beyond measure – I not only have one job, but two.  I not only have one car but two… We have a home that isn’t perfect, but we are safe and warm.  God gave me this moment this morning to watch these stories to remember and appreciate what I have.  On this Thanksgiving Eve, I pray that I remember and appreciate what I have daily.  That instead of whining for more in life, that I remember to be happy and blessed EVERY DAY with what already exists.

I cry over the blessings that people are posting on facebook.  What a change from the normal posts of complaining about life or about people.  It is really hard for me to see Christians who post negative thoughts or complaints often, without posting how Christ works through them.. or a negative without saying that God will give them strength.. or a follow-up on how they are doing better.  I am probably guilty at times of a little whining… I do believe in asking for prayer and challenge those that see a prayer request that they actually pause and pray.   I know that I have been posting all blessings and positives this month – it has been good for my soul.  I pray that the month of gratitude extends into LIFE of GRATITUDE in my life and on facebook..

I cry over commercials or facebook posts of pictures of the military serving their country and not being home with their families – all to protect us!! And then get really angry when I see people make mean comments that do not support the military.  You don’t have to agree with wars, but as a nation, we must respect and pray for those who will risk their lives to save ours!  My nephew and his family with two small children, who have not seen their father for months, will not be blessed with sharing the Thanksgiving table together.  I pray that I become more grateful for the soldiers on a daily basis. 

I cry over blogs I read that touch exactly the spot I need to be touched.  It awakens a part of me that needs to be touched.  As I talked about in my blog yesterday, there are so many areas of my life I want to be better. And everyday I say that or think of them, but I don’t every day do something about them.  I guess I assume there will be tomorrow.  However, as a nurse, I should know better, there is only this moment.  I have always worked most holidays, especially when a floor nurse.  To go into work to care for the sick and dieing on a holiday truly puts everything into perspective.  It was a blessing to serve them with my whole heart.  Now, I have a family and I still work most holidays.  At times it is hard for my children (especially Mary) to understand, but it is part of me.  On those days, people in those beds do not want to be there and if by my small part in working on that day, it reminds me of my blessings and provides service to them.  I pray that I learn to better savor the moments and make the most of every moment.

Prepare my heart, oh Lord, to be grateful and remember and to serve, not just on Thanksgiving Day, but for every moment that you give to me.


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