AT ONCE they left their nets and followed Him – Matthew 4:20. I honestly had to put the book down once I read that. The problem for me is I always have a million things to do or to distract me. Honestly, I can think of a million things that would have caused me to pause.
First the verse before Matthew 4:19 He says “Come follow me and I will make you fishers of men.” I can hear me thinking and maybe bold enough to say – What if I don’t want to do that?
And where it says AT ONCE (meaning no hesitation, no excuses, no 50 questions) they left their nets and followed Him. As a mom, I will say, come here at once. Chances are, my children will ask to wait for a commercial is on or yell back what do you want instead of dropping everything and coming. But, that comes by honestly. I can think of many ways I may have reacted if I was these brothers being called to be disciples.
They would likely include
- I would want to verify He was who He said He was.
- But Lord, if I drop my nets who will feed my family?
- But Lord, if I don’t fish who will support my family?
- But Lord, it is all I know how to do.
- What if I change my mind when I get where you are leading
And if I did follow, I would be thinking
- Who will take care of my children and husband?
- Are you sure you want me??
- Are we there yet? Where are we going?
- How much time will this take because I have a million things on my calendar?
- Can I stop by my house and get my belongings (my phone, my Kindle, etc..)?
- If we do stop by the house, you definitely cannot come in because I wasn’t expecting company!
Yes, those and many more would be my response. Oh, how I long to be silent long enough and spend enough time with Him that I can hear him whisper “Sheri, come follow me and I will make you _______.” The problem is I have my own vision of how to fill in the blank. I don’t know that I have really consistently consulted God. As a child, I knew I wanted to be a nurse. When I started dating my husband in high school I knew that I would be a nurse, graduate from college before I got married, and live in Markleysburg / Mountains. We talked about that on the first date because I wasn’t getting involved with someone who did not agree with my plan. I had good reasons, mostly because of mom and grandma I wanted to stay within a close distance. Do I believe that God led me in the pathway of nursing, and to my wonderful husband – YES! However, I also had planned 4-6 children right after we were married (we dated 5 years)… well, that is where God changed the blank and I was NOT happy that He messed with MY plans. But, He blessed us with two and for that I am grateful.
The other issue isn’t just being quiet long enough to hear Him, but spending enough time with Him to know Him like He knows me. When I spend time with people, I tend to trust them more. I know their likes/dislikes, their favorite foods, their favorite movies and music, etc.. If my friends would call and say would you like to go with us, I would likely try to make a way so I could (husband fed, children taken care of, and well the house can wait till I get back). Christ knows my favorites, He knows my thoughts, He knows my strengths and weaknesses, and He even knows the hairs on my head. So, why is it that I don’t trust Him with my plans? That is the relationship I need / want with Christ. The kind that when He calls me, and I stop everything and just make it happen.
It is very hard for me to let go of my plans, my vision, and my wants… so hard, that I am afraid I would so hesitate and find it difficult to go AT ONCE. But, I know that when I do let go, I will hear Him say and reach out His hand and say…”Sheri, come follow me and I will make you GREATER.”