Our Bible Study last night was on Hannah and there could very well be several blogs come from just that one study. But in our conversation, we got talking about testimonies. I mentioned how I am always fascinated by the strong testimony of the person who has overcome drugs and/or alcohol, living on the streets, etc… to a life walking with Christ. I mentioned how my life in comparison did not really have a “testimony” in that sense because I was raised in a Christian home, have been in church since probably the first Sunday after I was born. I have never been addicted to drugs or alcohol. I dated my husband, who is also a Christian, for five years, got my nursing degree, got married….
On the outside, Hannah looked like she also had it all together – married, a husband who loved her more than all the other wives, etc… But, inside she was a mess. In fact, she cried and prayed so hard it said that some thought she might be drunk. She was honest with God and poured out her heart for the longing of a child. I remember those days when everyone else around me had children, and yet we could not. Despite infertility treatments and every test known to man, we were left childless. On the outside, I kept working and helping to take care of mom. We went to church. I taught Sunday School. I just couldn’t understand why God didn’t see us or didn’t answer my prayers.
Well, just as with Hannah – God does see me! The study talked about that God was just waiting for a GREATER STORY. Sometimes that story is in the waiting. The story is when we get honest with God and not worry about our outward smile. It is so funny, in hindsight, although I am often guilty, of putting on that fake smile to God, to my friends, to my family — the smile that everything is okay. My friends and family may be fooled, and may appreciate the smile. However, God knows me and my heart. While talking, one of the amazing women there mentioned that infertility could be part of my testimony. After I left the Bible Study I really thought about that. I really do think God allowed our years of infertility for His glory, and of course, looking back it is easy to say that now. Had He not waited, we would have missed out on the Greater Story – Mary and Samuel.
But then I got to thinking even more… my daily life is my testimony. When I step out and say I am a Christian, my everyday actions are pieces to my testimony. Last week we buried our Grandmother and at her graveside a man spoke up about Grandmother’s life. How when he showed up at her doorstep, she welcomed him in without question. Her testimony was her daily life. Her testimony lived until her last breath.
So, what does that say about me? I am not a “words of affirmation” person, but I do want my reputation to be my testimony. Today I went through one of my work evaluations and it felt good to hear my strengths (so much for not being a “words of affirmation” person – lol). My work ethic is part of my testimony. It means being honest and working 100%.
Being a mom is part of my testimony. So part of my greater story is a beautiful teen daughter, but with that comes mommy/daughter melt-downs. How I handle them are parts of my testimony. The other part of my greater story is an amazing son with Aspergers, but with that come challenges. How I handle them are parts of my testimony. Do I speak their love languages consistently? Do I praise Him despite the rough times as a mom, or only when things are going well.
Being a wife is part of my testimony. Do I lift him up or tear him down? Do I speak his love languages consistently?
Being a friend is part of my testimony. Do I remember the little things for them? Do I let them know I am thinking of them? Do I honor their secrets? My friendships are a piece of my testimony.
I don’t need a “big story” to be my testimony… I just need to live out the greater story He gave me. Live it with greatness… Live it with gratefulness… Intentionally make my every day, my every action, my every word be part of my testimony.