Monthly Archives: January 2014

OVERCOME Wasting The Moment

I don’t have time for this… really I don’t have time to write today but I was honestly so convicted by something I do almost every day.  A battle I briefly addressed the other day with someone, but today it really hit me!  Almost every day I wish my life away, precious days, precious moments.

I was talking to someone about how they couldn’t wait for spring.  I see posts on Facebook about the number of days till spring.  When it gets closer to time, Jim will put a count down on his computer about how many days till vacation at the beach.  I said to the person, but every day I count towards spring or the next event is one less day on earth I have with our children!  I am wishing their lives away and my life!  Mary will be 15 in March… every day I wish away is a day closer to her driving, to her leaving home for college, to her growing up.  I can only imagine all the things she will accomplish, but I want to SAVOR TODAY to prepare her for that future and build memories for us both to hold onto! Sam will be 11 in June.. every day I wish away is a day closer to him having to face this crazy world, and I will be honest, it completely scares me.  When I focus on the future for him, it robs me of the happiness of his honesty, his smile, his laughter, etc of today. 

I have friends who are approaching retirement age and they can tell you the exact day and some are close enough to tell you the number of days and some even the hours until that day will arrive.  For me, I am so far from retirement, that it is depressing – lol!  Also, for me, I can’t imagine retiring.  I love my job and it is such a part of my identity.   I have been a nurse, in some capacity, for over half of my life.  Don’t get me wrong, I can imagine how exciting it is to own your life and not have to be anywhere at any certain time.  But, I know I better know who I truly am outside of being a nurse, a wife, a mother to be able to retire.

I know several people who have deeper depression issues in this weather and just want the winter to be over. For me, counting my blessings every day has really helped. I choose to not worry about the weather, but thankful I have a warm house, warm clothes, my health, etc…  I hear parents talk about how their children are driving them crazy being home during all these days.  I must admit, I have my children home with me 24/7 with home/cyber school, so I don’t have that same “drive me crazy” feeling this time of year – it can happen any day here (lol)! 

I am not trying to judge people and their wishing for tomorrow, for spring, for summer, for vacation, and for retirement.  But, every day I wish my days away when I

  • say to my kids we can do that tomorrow or later (and even worse when I don’t honor my word)
  • procrastinate doing something today that I dread because then it just stays on my mind pulling me down for another day – instead I can do it now and free the worry
  • fret over my to do list instead of just doing it
  • wait for tomorrow (that never comes) to do things that will make me healthier and hopefully increase my days 
  • hold on to regrets of the past that steal my mind away from the here and now
  • unforgiveness of myself and others as it steals heart space of love and healing 
  • live out loud dreams, my bucket list (which I have procrastinated developing), etc
  • don’t take time for God because He is the Author of my days and I am likely missing the message he wants me to know (because I am too busy)
  • don’t take time for me to know who I AM, so when retirement comes, our children leave, I am not left empty
  • don’t make TODAY count for something
  • go through the motions of life without living

God gives us each moment and every season.  I know these winter days that have slowed me down.  I have watched parents get to spend days with their children that would not have spent that time.  We have saved money by eating in instead of going out, and have even sat at the kitchen table for a few meals each week (hold your judgment)!  Sam has played outside every day not caring about the temperature, and through him I have relived my childhood of snow forts and tunnels and snowmobile riding.  I have felt less guilty about sleeping in and snuggling with Sam.  We have not worried or rushed to get somewhere.   I have slowed down and watched nature out my window of the beautiful birds, and amazed at how they survive these elements.  They have assured me, when I felt down, that just as God takes care of those birds, He will take care of me!  I have watched stories on Facebook of young children who have lost their life from cancer, from the flu, from being a hero and I am sure their parents would give anything for one more day – a day, like me, they may have wished away.

My prayer is that

  • I enjoy the moment I am in now, no matter how small the moment may seem.  
  • my heart is full of thankfulness and praise and not moaning and groaning  
  • live in the moment without dragging in the past and dwelling over the future
  • seize the lesson(s) God has for me
  • slow down and savor the moment instead of thinking what I must do next 
  • OVERCOME wasting this moment by wishing / worrying / thinking of the next

Ecclessiates 3:1 “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” – May I praise Him in this winter season as it has a purpose!

Psalm 90:12 “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” – Enjoying today will bring ME wisdom!

“You’ll seldom experience regret for anything that you’ve done. It is what you haven’t done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear. Do it! Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savor it. Value your present moments. Using them up in any self-defeating ways means you’ve lost them forever.”  –Wayne Dyer

Advertisements

OVERCOME my negativity…

I love Christian/Worship music and almost always listen to KLove in my car, but there are spots that there is nothing but static.  Static drives me crazy!  I also really enjoy silence in my car; however, there are times I need to block out my thoughts!  I figured out how to download podcasts on my iPhone because I like to feed my mind with things that make me think.  However, I did not know that podcasts would automatically start when I plugged my phone in to charge and over my radio.  The first one was about Breathing Room by Andy Stanley.  I wanted to turn it off, but felt like I was meant to listen to it, but it made me think deeper than I wanted too.  Sometimes I just want to escape “lessons”.  The second one was by Joyce Myer and about the Power of Words.  One of the first thing she said was about the power of negative words.  Words that come out are because of what our heart is focused on.  OUCH!  So, when I am ugly, it is a result of what has been festering in my heart and mind – OUCH!  She is right my ugly words are not just about a new moment, but things I have been festering.

The first area is about people.  Over time, my tolerance of people has shortened.  I just started to type a list of negative people and people who drive me absolutely crazy and I realized as I typed the list of people I could place specific names, situations, etc..  I honestly had no idea how bad it was until my list was growing and festering in my heart.   Though I try to control my words, I know they spill out of my mouth, and now I know why.  I have allowed them to take up valuable space that can be filled with positive thoughts.  Specific example that I did OVERCOME fairly recently was in regards of my children and their speeds.

  • First Sam – he has one speed – his!  I learned much earlier with him to not let his speed drive me crazy.  When I do find myself faltering in that area, I realize it is usually my fault because I got us up late, didn’t have him get things ready the night before, etc… So I offer him grace for my mistakes and know that no matter how many times I say I hurry up, the speed stays the same – his! It just leaves me frustrated, so I now just focus on the blessing of a little boy with an incredible imagination that has to leave the house with the exact right thing.  Also, if I hurry him and he forgets something the day will just go downhill. I also just remind myself how blessed I am to have him in my life!
  • Mary has her own speed as well.  There are the days I miss that I could say let’s go and she could be ready in 5 minutes and out the door.  Those were the days the clothes didn’t matter and neither did her hair, her face, etc…  But, now she likes to look nice in her own style (which thankfully includes multiple layers – lol), have her hair fixed (which can take awhile with her long curly hair – which I have to remember), and her makeup on.  Again, no matter how many times I say hurry up, it doesn’t speed the system.  We both just get frustrated.  So now I try to warn the night before and offer more grace when its last minute plans.  I learned when I use to take her to school not to get in an argument about being late or time issues or her forgetting things because it ruins both of our days.  I still practice that principle as much as possible.  I also count my blessing that she cares enough about her self enough to care what she looks like when she goes out of the house.   I am especially blessed when I go to places like Walmart, etc and see how kids/teen/adults dress and look!  Blessed to have a beautiful daughter from the inside out!

So, now to learn to offer the same grace to the other annoying people.  A friend of mine who chooses a word each year wanted to have her young sons choose a word.  A word that describes overlooking things done by their brother, etc.  We came up with Grace.  The power of learning that word in early childhood, but if they can learn it, surely I can too.  Where do I start to OVERCOME negativity?

  • I have already hidden certain people from my FaceBook.  If I continually see their posts and they continually drive me crazy they will continue to plant seeds in my heart of annoyance.  And if  keep building the seeds the negative will also likely flow from my mouth.
  • The next thing I need to do is to think of one positive to say in my head when I see them.   My hope is that I can replace the negative things I feel about the things they do/don’t do, the thing they say, etc.  with a positive affirmation.
  • Stop keeping record of wrong.  I can be great about keeping a tally in my head of all the things that people have done that annoy me.  I can then easily pull them out of that brain file and shove more stuff in as it happens.  I then put the file back into my memory to retrieve and add to the next time.  I am just being completely honest.  My prayer is that I can pull the files out when I see that person and just empty it and stamp FORGIVEN, just as Christ did for me.  How liberating.
  • Some situations may require me to have an honest conversation and clear the air.  This will definitely require me to have a gentle heart and a sincere reason to heal the relationship.  It can’t be to make me feel better or to just dump out the file.  I have to remember if I can’t talk to the individual, I shouldn’t be having a conversation with someone else about them.
  • My thoughts and words affect my attitude toward people.  I will blame some of this on age and I believe a hormonal switch taking place.  I can walk into a room or just read a facebook post and I can feel an instant attitude change.  Here is a thought maybe it is me with the problem and not the other people!
  • Another point Joyce mentioned was the importance of blessing people.  I think I need to start blessing and not cursing. A great prayer to say over everyone.  Numbers 6:24-26 “The LORD bless you, and keep you; 25The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; 26The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace.’…

I truly believe that my negative words – whether spoken out loud or to myself – have been sucking some serious energy out of me.  I am literally letting people drive me crazy – or I should say MY THOUGHTS about other people drive myself crazy!  I can OVERCOME my thoughts… after all they belong to ME!

OVERCOME – the battle begins!

OVERCOME my word for 2014.  Anytime I start something new I like to evaluate what I have done.  Maybe that was something I learned in nursing school.  Choosing a word is not new as this will be my fourth word / year.  My words have been like a rollercoaster ride.  The first year I was new to the process and chose RENEW.  I would say the ride was slow, but I made progress.  The second year I was strong and constant with my word PREPARE, to fight my procrastination tendency.  I think a big part was this was the year I started my blog.  I love to write and have always loved to write.  I enjoy looking back over that year in my writings and see the many lessons I learned.  In 2013, my word was INTENTIONAL.  This was also a word to continue to work on procrastination and to live life on purpose.  I already did my review of how I thought I did in a blog in December.  The one area I could give myself a star for everyday was intentionally being grateful, thankful, and counting little blessings, which has been life changing!

My list for considerations for 2014 included verbs (like breathe, move, serve), words that were nouns & verbs (challenge, control, dare, balance), quantity words (more, seven), words that focused on other people (boundaries, deposits), directional words (like forward, up, closer, deeper), and back to basics (like foundation, basics, simplify).   I considered books I had read in the past year like 7 (Jen Hatmaker) and Happiness Project (have read almost every year).  I had even included a word that I would never be able to do – ME!  A year of focusing on ME would be the hardest thing ever and I felt a little selfish.  Although when I get ME in order, everything else would fall in place.  But I wanted to do more than just ME.

I was sitting on New Years Eve with my words I thought of and was drawing lines and circles around words and narrowed it down.  Overcome was not on my original long list of words and I just couldn’t settle on one.  I knew I wanted a word that would address the procrastination (which has greatly improved), the chaos in my life, feeling guilty / inadequate / overwhelmed, and moving forward instead of feeling behind.   My end result I want to be peace of mind, happiness, progress, contentment, and balance ( a tall order).  I realized that I needed to OVERCOME the obstacles to have my end results.

Many issues I have dealt with for years and I am sure there will be new obstacles as the year goes along that I need to overcome.  I want my life to being about the overcoming of the obstacles and doing something about them, instead of sitting on the sidelines feeling guilty, being worried, and being stuck.   I have had some amazing examples in my life this past year who have overcome some pretty big obstacles.  Did they fall at times? Yes.  Did they get back up and overcome? YES!  When I face the obstacle that stands in my way between me and peace, I want to OVERCOME it and keep running the race. OVERCOME will force me to address issues about ME, including the excuses I make, the whining I do, the self-pity, the guilt, and the worry.  I can either stay in the rut and not face the or I can OVERCOME it.

I closed 2013 listening to Elevation Church Live Praise Party.  Pastor Steven Furtick preached about A Reason to Rejoice.  A lesson about not just counting the blessings but counting the battles we have overcome.  Rejoice the battles did not take me, but made me stronger.   I thought about some of the battles I face daily, weekly, monthly and I let them overtake me, instead of relying on God to help me OVERCOME them.  That will be another huge challenge in the word OVERCOME.  I will not be able to do it all by myself (even if I try).   I will have to rely on God to overcome things and at times ask for help of others to overcome things.

Every year I choose a word, I choose scripture and I have two verses this year

  • I John 4:4  You are of God, little children, and have OVERCOME them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. (i.e. I am of God and can OVERCOME them, because HE who is in ME is greater than anything in the world!)
  • Philippians 4:13  – I can do all things through Christ who gives ME strength (i.e. I can OVERCOME all things through Christ who gives ME strength!)  – My Grandma Frazee’s favorite verse.

I also have chosen a song, which is one of my absolute favorites and cannot believe I didn’t think of OVERCOME sooner knowing how often I listen to this.  I will make the song my alarm song and top on my playlist as a constant reminder.    Mandisa – OVERCOMER!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8VoUYtx0kw

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome” – Booker T. Washington.   I believe 2014 will be a very successful year when defined in those terms!  At the end of 2014, I will be an OVERCOMER. I can’t wait to share my journey!