Life Lessons

I owed Mary a BLOG for her birthday last month and I owe myself the time to create them. I absolutely love to write (except for Master Nursing Papers). Usually I share my writings to encourage others and let them know they are not alone in their battles. When I write for Mary it is lessons I wish I could go back and say to my younger self. I keep little notes in my phone (need to do more frequently) of thoughts or lessons. Here are some random ones.

KNOW YOUR WORTH

Recently I was in line at McDonalds at the drive thru with my window down and I could hear in the car behind me a male yelling profanities and names at the female and the children in the car. It was all I could do to not rescue them. I wanted to scream back “you are worth so much more”. I thought to myself is this a pattern for them to think she wasn’t worth more and will those kids grow to believe that is all they deserve. Growing up I knew I was loved often in words and always in action. My mom would give up food and give to us kids. We spent time together as a family going to church, camping trips, in the garden, etc. i saw love modeled with my Dad and his unconditional love for my mom. I was proud to be a Knight so much so that I wanted that name on my College Diploma.

As our children have grown we tried to ensure they know they are invaluable in words and actions as well. They deserve respect and unconditional love. The ongoing “joke” in our house was teaching Mary to love the finer foods like Filet, Crab Legs, nice dinners out, because when she met someone she wouldn’t just settle for McDonalds but know she was worth more. I use to give her mini sermons about asking the right questions to ensure the man she would love had beliefs would align with what she could agree to.

Mary – You are a Wolfe – loved by your parents beyond any word or measure. That will not change regardless of your life choices. So never settle for a life someone else wants for you. Be true to you and the choices you make.

Growing up I not only knew of my parents love but Jesus really loved me. Not just the motions of it but really knowing it. Mary, know your worth! It is not tied to a profession, your marital status, the number of friends, the number of kids, your clothes, your house, your political party, your education, tattoos or no tattoos, your makeup, and on and on. Your worth is that You are incredibly created and Loved by God. Be concerned only about the things He is concerned of – do you love like Christ? do you serve like Christ? The only people you have to answer to is the person in the mirror and to your Maker!

LIVE THE LIFE YOU IMAGINED

This one I have failed at miserably and hopefully the latest life event will be embossed on my daily life. It’s probably time to take a few steps back! Re-evaluate. Find my footing and return to my roots.

Am I living the life I imagined? Am I living the life God meant for me? As a Christian they should really line up with the other. Do I even know my dreams and/or what His will is? When did I stop dreaming and imagining and start relying on just going through the motions of life? When did I stop asking God for wisdom and guidance? I make a lot of decisions for what I think is best, often for the moment. I call it the bandaid response and in work I am huge against putting on bandaids but never getting to the root problem. However, in my daily life outside of work that is the sad reality. I do a temporary fix and it soon becomes permanent just hiding the bigger wound underneath. A bandaid on broken relationships, a house, finances, health, school, spiritual life, mental health, etc. Well, eventually the bandaids fall off – my response a new bandaid! It happens more than people would ever know.

Mary – have a great relationship with Christ. In true relationships you have good back and forth conversations, not just a one way of everything you want without listening for the response. One where you pick up where you left off on the last conversation. Of note, although I offer some really stellar advice (lol), I am not the keeper or maker of your dreams. I can support you, love you, and recommend no bandaids. However, it is your life and your dreams. Just don’t give up on them and start going through the motions. Don’t be like me! Breathe passion into each day and each dream! When there is a wound, I will always be here, but I recommend going to the Great Physician. (Note to self Sheri – take your own advice!)

DO IT EVEN IF YOU DON’T WANT TO!

So about this chasing your dreams and living the life you imagined, it takes work. Here is the other truth it takes work to just go through the motions of life too, so choose wisely! You know I love analogies so here is one I thought of on this topic. Going through motions seems easier however, it is like being on a stationary bike versus a trail bike. The stationary bike is work but you get nowhere. Same view everyday (unless you have a Pelatonic bike that gives you all those views. But still you never really go anywhere, especially if it is not plugged in – not mentioning any names – lol). A trail bike same work, but oh the views when you really go somewhere. I have a tendancy to procrastinate so on this bike analogy not only do I not get anywhere I can be late. I often find the things I have delayed are due to an irrational conversation I have with myself about how long something will take. I soon realize the time wasted in procrastinating it could likely have been complete. Evaluate the situation – is it something that will get you one step closer to your dream. If yes, do it even if you don’t feel like it. You know me, you don’t always have to wait for someone to catch up and help you. You are responsible for you and you can always hear my voice “Fine, I’ll do it myself!” Lol (ps know that I will always be your biggest cheerleader and will help whenever possible.)

FOLLOW YOUR PATH BUT DON’T GET LOST

Find your true north but don’t loose yourself

I do enjoy a good chick flick Hallmark movie. Most about self discovery – realizing they are not with who they think they should be (that is not me), not doing the job they have always dreamed of (most a life-work balance), and while they always end with “love” they also find themselves along the way. There is probably three true norths I have always followed – nursing, marriage, and children. I have made errors in every path, and still do. However, I have definitely lost myself along the way. Here is the thing about following directions and dreams, it takes a healthy human! Healthy spiritually, mentally, and physically. I have faked all of them at some point and some more than others. I have followed my north often with a broken spirit, a broken heart, a broken mind, and even a broken body. I hobble along and slowly loose pieces of myself. The great things about a compass is that it always points you in the right direction as long as it is not broken and that it is followed. You can’t put it on a shelf and think you know the way. You have to stop at rest stops and reevaluate it. Things change and directions change. Don’t go along and assume the route has not changed. There maybe detours. Keep check frequently on your dreams to make sure they are still what you want and you are still headed in the right direction! It is often not too late to turn around and take a different path. Just like when we drove in Pittsburgh for weeks to the convention center and we took a different way in and a different way out. We always got there and always got home. Just like Pittsburgh travel, the directions can change and it doesn’t mean the dream has changed, it could just mean taking a different direction to the destination. However,!it also could mean it is a better dream to follow. Make the time to ensure you are a healthy traveler following the compass.

GRATITUDE EVERY DAY

Live each day with gratitude. I am a glass half full girl. I tend to be the eternal optimist. One thing that keeps me on that trajectory is focusing on the gratitude. Looking for the little things to remind me how richly blessed I am. I can tell when I become focused on the negative and even when I am not even focused on anything. It’s like driving a car you go where you focus on going. When you loose focus you can crash! When you are negative for the whole ride it becomes a very long ride. It is in the simple things and the complex things that gratitude can be found. Be grateful for the first step in the right direction… be grateful for the lessons you learn when you mess up… be grateful for your daily bread and if you are lucky enough to savor a great dessert… I know I get a little obnoxious with gratefulness but some days it is the only thing that saves me!

Happy belated birthday one month late to my favorite daughter. I will always be your number one fan, your bail provider, and the nagging voice in the back of your head!

Above all else know you are a child of God and that He is the only compass you will need in this crazy life!